Not everyone has to like it, but we definitely can’t ignore it: Valentine’s Day is here.  Enter the massive confusion of gift buying, date planning, and cheesy TV specials. It affects everyone – the single, the taken, the crushing, the crushed on. And while Valentine’s Day has a specific cliché image that can be off-putting, maybe it’s not really given the chance it deserves.  Part of the problem, perhaps, is that sometimes we don’t realize that the way the holiday is marketed may not be fitting for our current relationship status. Couples should feel free to ignore the boxes of chocolates and teddy bears, while singles don’t necessarily need to raid Victoria’s Secret or hit the bar.  This year, it’s time to break from the mainstream and celebrate in a way that works for you.

New Couples vs. Old Couples

The number of anniversaries you’ve had doesn’t necessarily determine how your Valentine’s Day should go. Well-established couples are known (and sometimes expected) to conform to the same routine of stuffed animals and romantic dinner dates. It’s all well and good, but Valentine’s Day is meant to express one’s love, not follow it. If you feel like you’ve fallen into a married-couple slump, seize the opportunity and spice things up a little. 

It’s Valentine’s Day, and sex is in the air – not the same-old-same-old cheesy romance.  And remember, sexy doesn’t have to be racy lingerie or edible unmentionables.  It can be something as simple as wearing a more revealing outfit. Highlighting your (or your significant other’s) favorite physical attribute may be the best gift you can give

 On the other hand, for new couples, you may want to slow things down a bit. If your relationship has consisted mostly of intoxicated hookups, try a couple’s night out and don’t be afraid to try being cutesy for once. Some flowers and a table for two might be just what you need to move your relationship out of the bedroom.

 The Lonely, The Broken-Hearted, and The Anti-Love Singletons

It’s one thing to hate on Valentine’s Day, but it’s another to ignore it completely. No matter what Hallmark and your romantic past has taught you, this is supposed to be a day for celebrating love no matter where it’s found.

 Call your parents or grandparents and tell them you love them. That hopelessly romantic friend you have? Surprise them with a card. Get dressed up and have a girls’ (or boys’) night out. Try that restaurant down the street you’ve been eyeing for a while. And don’t worry, hipsters, you’re not conforming to any trend except the trend of self-love and friendship.

For many single people, Valentine’s Day is viewed as a day where you’re constantly reminded that you don’t have someone to share it with, but that’s just plain wrong.  We’ve all got friends and family, and it’s important to remember that romantic love isn’t the only kind of affection.

And really, since when has gorging yourself on chocolates and watching rom-coms become depressing? Chocolate is delicious, and John Hughes is classic., so get comfy and get happy.

However you decide to spend Valentine’s Day, it should never be something that you’re ashamed of  Whether you’re dressing up, dressing down, cuddling with your significant other, or cuddling with your best friend, find a way to feel the love. If you’re really having that much trouble, Lifetime has a romance movie marathon that’s on all day. Knock yourself out.

(text by: Alexandra Hammarth)

We all want to be wanted, and it feels good when someone has a crush on you. But on the other side of the equation, when you get crushed because your love interest doesn’t like you back, it doesn’t feel quite as good. As much as we hate to be put in the “friend zone” (because yes, we all know when it’s happening), we’d hate it even more if our intended flame led us on and hung us out to dry.

Of course, maybe that’s a little unfair. After all, how do you tell someone nicely that you’re not interested in them in that way? Sometimes your smitten kitten of a classmate isn’t getting the message. Maybe you’re not sending clear signals and they feel a spark, or maybe they’re oblivious to the obvious clues that you’re not interested. Perhaps they have no idea you’re in a long-distance relationship, or what they have to offer isn’t really what you’re looking for. Whatever the case, no one is at fault for wanting a little love and hoping their crush likes them back. In this tightly-knit snow globe of a life we all lead at Emerson College, it’s only courteous to let them down easily.

It’s cool if you don’t want to come out and bluntly say, “I am not interested in you romantically, I just want to be friends.” That can be uncomfortable, and not to mention a bit harsh. As a nifty alternative, here are some quick tips to help you discreetly but distinctly channel someone into the friend zone.

Rule #1 of letting your admirer down gently: don’t be selfish. Stop texting them back so much! It doesn’t matter if she makes you feel cute or if she earnestly laughs at all of your jokes. She’ll be officially connected to the ball and chain that is her cell phone and, ultimately, her crush on you. And by texting that girl, you are sending mixed messages, even if it’s just a (not-so-) harmless winky face.

Rule #2 requires nothing more than a little common sense: put yourself in their shoes. Don’t entrap yourself in overly intimate, one-on-one settings. This isn’t because you shouldn’t hang out with him—you may genuinely think he’s an awesome person. But while the wound is fresh, it’s best to send a clear message that you’re not “pickin’ up what he’s puttin’ down.” Hang out in a big group at the park, or invite him to a concert… that all your friends are also going to (who doesn’t love back-up?). Steer clear of him thinking all the slow songs are an opportunity to plant one on you, while showing him that he’s cool and you want him in your life.

Rule #3 and the final payoff: be honest. While we all want to avoid that awkward confrontational moment, if your admirer doesn’t take the hint, say it straight and give them some time off.  After all, how can they possibly be expected to get over your charming wit and good looks when they’re hanging out with you constantly? Let them move on, so you can just be friends.

(text by: Marlee Kula)

First, don’t drink. Or at least have an extremely high tolerance that may rival an Irish sailor. That’s key.  Some might argue against this, but the most important thing in being the sober friend is to actually be sober. Alcohol can impair your judgment. Or so I’ve heard.

Next, be content while surrounded by a number of drunk people. You’ll most likely end up at a party in which the number of sober people can be counted on one hand. Maybe you’re on a schedule in which each of your friends has a weekend of be shitfaced with no scruples and no concerns about how they’re getting home—and this week, that’s your job. Or maybe you’re the most inherently responsible member of your friend group and know that when a rager occurs, you’ll need to hold back someone’s hair at the end of the night.

You might, then, decide that you need to develop horrible hearing matched with a lower sense of pride. When someone’s drunk, they begin to lose their sense of volume, always shouting embarrassing remarks no matter if they’re across the room or less than an inch away from your ear. Maybe they need to go to the bathroom, or maybe you should hook up with the guy you’ve been talking to all night. (Never mind the fact that he’s straight and the topic of your conversation was the NHL).

Have no qualms in treating your friends like children. If you see them about to take another shot, thereby pushing them over the level of pleasantly hammered and into horribly trashed, you cannot be afraid of taking the shot glass from their hands, telling them no and having a pout or weak slap to the arm as their only response.

Become good at controlling your emotions. It’s hard to be a hot-headed Sicilian and the sober friend at the same time. When your friends begin to call you by a different name, yelling that they cannot leave the party until they find the real you (you know, the hot-headed Sicilian and not the chill LA-boy) you’re going to need to keep your cool. When you live in a big city, it’s difficult to justify crossing the street and making them walk home on their own. That kind of attitude leads to mishap.

And for even the most non-motherly person in the world, chances are that at some point during the night your parental instincts will need to kick in. With judgments impaired, hook-ups and unwanted acts may occur and it’s unfortunately your job to stop them from committing any act that tomorrow morning might make them contemplate becoming a hermit for a few days. Bursts of spontaneous tears or even screaming matches can send you into a fight-or-flight situation in which you have no choice but to flee with them in toe. ‘I know, it’s okay. It’s okay,’ will be the only sentences you utter as you get your friends into bed for the night, checking at ten minute intervals to make sure they’re still breathing.

The night ends with a sigh of relief and exhaustion as you try to decide whether to scold them tomorrow or let it go. Either way, the first thing you’ll have to do is get coffee and bagels.

(text by: Joey Polino)

When you first applied to Emerson, the overzealous tour guide ranted and raved about the Castle. Or maybe you ogled at the pictures on the school’s website. You bragged to all your high school friends, “My school has a castle. With a moat!” It was the coolest thing since your Senior Prom. 

If you’re lucky, you came to Emerson and among other things, fell madly in love. You and Prince Charming did everything together. Lunching at the DH daily, exploring the many “opportunities” of the LB handicapped bathrooms, you even applied to go to the Castle together. You couldn’t be separated. But when your iPhone buzzes a few months later and you check your email- everything’s changed. You didn’t get into the program and he, on the other hand, did.

You quickly wish that that moat would overflow and the Castle would drown and become Atlantis’ twin brother. You beg and plead, but your guy’s a good swimmer. He decides to take his chances.

“It was good while it lasted,” your friends will say, trying to console you with copious amounts of Ben & Jerrys pints from the Max. But neither Ben, nor Jerry can build snowmen with you in the Common, sled down the Emerson hill on Dining Hall trays, or snuggle with you after class. While you might feel like the most unfortunate girl in the world, you and your man are faced with your final vaarwels (yeah, you even started studying Dutch).

The good news is that many people before you have been separated by an ocean and can offer some advice. It may not be the advice you want to hear, but it’s a proven method that can practically guarantee you’ll survive the tragic separation. And hey, feel free to stuff your face with ice cream and audibly curse at any happy couple you encounter in his absence. It feels great.

Talk it out. While he’s abroad, you’re not going to be able to kiss and make up whenever something goes wrong. While you do have each other’s hands to squeeze, you have to talk about every little detail. Dedicate some time, about a month or two before his bon voyage, to brainstorm all the  “What ifs” and “Should we’s.” Don’t leave anything out. Discuss how you’d feel if he kissed another girl and you knew about it. What about sex? Do you want the details of his every hookup? Or do you want him to stay loyal to you? And make sure you answer these questions too.  Ideally he’d be faithful, and you could prance around Allston with whomever you’d like, but you have to consider what he wants too. How often should you talk? Will you have enough to talk about if you Skype every day? The conversation won’t be fun, but it’s necessary. Talk about every option you have, and think about the pros and cons of each. Long distance, open relationship, or take a break, It needs to be defined.

Let him go to get him back. A long distance relationship is a difficult thing to master. Like it or not, you’re going to be attracted to other people eventually. Having that talk while he’s abroad will undoubtedly cause a riff, and if he’s the emotional type, that moat might just overflow. You’ll feel the need to stay in constant communication. But if you’re not sharing experiences, you may not have anything to relate to. What about an Open Relationship? Been there, done that. Doesn’t work. A relationship is a relationship and you’ll feel guilty the second you get naughty with your study partner in the library. Open relationships usually come with a lot of rules. No sex, for example, Fact of the matter is, sex is even better when it’s off limits. Don’t let yourself get there. Taking a break could be the key to a successful leave of absence on his part. He’s going to Europe. As someone who loves him immensely, do you really want to hold him back from experiencing it to the fullest? Imagine if things didn’t work out between you when he got back. He turned down plenty of propositions from European goddesses. And hey, what about all those Paramount demi-gods?! That resentment will fester, regardless of your post-Castle relationship. You need to give him space to get whatever’s necessary out of his system. We can hope and pray that our men are attracted to us and only us, but let’s remember where their brains are. If you have enough love for each other to let one another go, you can make it through anything.  Confidence is essential to a happily ever after.

Limit communication. Schedule a time to Skype once a week.  It can last 30 minutes or 5 hours, and it will give you both something to look forward to. It’ll keep you thinking about each other throughout the week, and when you do talk, you’ll have more than enough to say. This way, you can tell the most exciting stories of your weeks, convey all the things that made you think of one another, and in your cutest baby voices, swap plenty of  “I miss you so much’s.” Why not talk whenever you feel like it? This opens the door for you (or him) to get hurt. If he’s too busy jetsetting around Europe to talk, you might feel neglected or unimportant. Plus, describing every detail of your day will get monotonous, and could easily cause jealousy. Those inside jokes you two have will only be funny for so long. Talking more than once a week will force the relationship to go stale like that bagel you stole from the DH.

Be adults. While the once a week video chat is a terrific idea in theory, sometimes we just have those days. Sometimes you’ll miss him so much that it’s affecting your schoolwork. Sometimes you’ll lose sleep wondering if he’s slept with that b!*#% from your Intro to College Writing Class. Sometimes something will go wrong in your life and he’s the only one who could console you. For these reasons, remember that you are adults, and sometimes it’s important to make exceptions. Make sure that you’re taking care of yourself and each other. Email him to let him know how you’re feeling. This may be enough, but if it isn’t, find some time to talk about what’s going on so that emotions don’t build up and eventually explode. Speaking of exploding…

Skypegasm. For those of us who are unfamiliar with the world of cyber sex, this can be particularly intimidating. However, it is a great way to stay close to your partner. Make sure he’s a guy you can trust, and make sure your roommate isn’t getting out of class early. Most importantly, make yourself comfortable. This video chat doesn’t count as your weekly Skype date. Get each other in the mood by discussing one of your sexiest sexcapades. Once you’re both ready, let your hands wander. What you do with them is up to you, but mutual masturbation is one of the best ways to stay connected with someone you’re used to getting intimate with. E-intimacy is daunting, but if you remember that these are all things you’ve done with him before and keep in mind that he finds you incredibly sexy, you can’t fail.

These few months are going to be tough. There’s no getting around that. But just remember that there’s an end in sight, and it’s not so far away. Soon enough he’ll be all yours again. Chances are he’ll be thinking about you the whole time.

(text by: Sienna Mintz)

All Emerson students could be described with adjectives like artsy, hipster, indie, preppy, etc. But students within each major have their own assortment of unique characteristics which should be taken into account when considering a relationship with an Emersonian. They define priorities, interests, and expectations for each. Think of it this way: while the entire student body has a mutual love for such things as Passion Pit, (500) Days of Summer and Alexander McQueen, depending on the major, there are different levels of prominence for each.

Here are a few tips for dating the Emerson student—by major.

Musical Theatre
The trouble with dating a Musical Theatre major—or more affectionately, an MT—is their hunger for being the best. This means that if you wind up dating one of them, you cannot under any circumstances be in competition with them. Even if you find yourself silently competing with grades, you can’t take it too seriously (even if they do). They will push and push, taking the fun and simple competition to the max, taking the joy and whimsicality out of it all.

Characteristics of note: They’re always singing. They may prefer dating someone who is not a musical theatre professional (again, the competition thing), but it is expected that you know the difference between Godspell and Jesus Christ Superstar, or at least know what The Last Five Years is. They make references to everything and you need to be on top of your game.

Film & Television
Film students will expect your favorite movie to be something artsy or revolutionary (meaning it doesn’t star Julia Roberts or Katherine Heigl). Be prepared to sit through movies in Spanish, French and maybe even Mandarin Chinese, featuring totally unrealistic fight sequences and lots of sex. Brush up on terminology such as a “grip” or “best boy”. Also, they work insane hours, mostly on weekends in Allston or somewhere in New England so your nights out must be extra special if it will be the only one for quite some time.

For TV majors, even if you’ve never seen an episode of Lost, Dexter, Buffy or True Blood, chances are that you’ll be able to talk about them like you watched them from start to finish after a month or so of dating. In the end, students of the Film and TV majors are probably the most hipster of Emerson students.

Filmographies to study: Martin Scorsese, Woody Allen, Federico Fellini and Ingmar Bergman.

Writing, Literature & Publishing/Journalism
I’ve clumped the WLPers and journalism students together because quite frankly, they’re probably the most normal in the throngs of students at Emerson. However, Henry Miller said the best way to get over someone is to turn them into literature, so be prepared: if you end up breaking their heart, you may find yourself one day immortalized in a novel or two. Get used to your dates or intimate moments becoming their inspiration, soon on display for all to read.

Current events may be nagging at a journalism major more than anyone else. Also, it’s more than a guarantee that you’re going to have to partake in a number of interviews for their broadcast class or appear in the Berkeley Beacon about the DH’s decision to continue using trays.

Authors to brush up on: Faulkner, Hemingway, Vonnegut and Kerouac.

Marketing
A marketing major is one or both of the following: a perfectionist or pretentious. In any case, they’ll admit to it. Most marketing majors have strict schedules they have to adhere to. If you’re more than four minutes late to even the most casual coffee date, you’d best have a doctor’s note. Marketing students by nature are probably the most ambitious of Emerson students in terms of the number of things they try to cram into their schedules. Due to this,most have addictions to coffee, so if you want to surprise them, a Red Eye is a thoughtful treat. They might snarl comments about what other students are wearing, but don’t get discouraged, they do it because deep down they actually do care.

Things to remember: They’re the only students who are required to take math.

(text by: Joey Polino)